To Hug or Not to Hug

Are you a hugger? I love to hug. I hug hello and good-bye. If you’re standing anywhere near me I might brush a hand on your arm or pat you on the shoulder. I’m Italian which makes me the touchy-feely type. Talking with my hands extends to if you’re anywhere in my reach I may lay a hand on you. I suggest if people don’t like that about me they should stay at arm’s length. Last week my friend Cindy gave me this great big gigantic hug. It felt like she was glad to see me. That or I had attached my hugging tentacles and forgot to pull the release. But don’t tell her.

Here’s where it’s a problem with hugging. My kids don’t like it when I hug them. Of course, at 13 and 11 what do I expect? But I can’t help myself. Whenever they’re near me I have to run over and wrap my arms around them. I try to control myself when their friends are present, but let it be known as soon as I shut the door at the end of a hang out session I’ve got my arm over the shoulder of one of my kids. Both kids if I can pull that off. I only had two kids because I don’t have enough arms or a large enough wing span to hug anymore than two at a time.

So, what’s a mom to do? Well, I’ve been known to hug while they sleep. Very sneaky of me. There’s always the brush the hand across the shoulder thing. They haven’t caught on to that one yet. I can creep into their personal space when they watch television. Sometimes without knowing it, they hug me. Score!

I can’t change who I am and truthfully, would my kids want me to? What’s life like it your mom never hugs you? Pretty cold and empty if you ask me. And what’s life like if you’re friends never hug you? I have friends I can’t wait to see just so I can give them a big hug. Like Cindy and … YOU.

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4 thoughts on “To Hug or Not to Hug

  1. A hug is the universal language of acceptance and warmth…..I feel that if we all hugged just a little more there would be a greater sense of comfort in this world. A hug needs no words. To give a hug is pure joy. To receive one is just as satisfying. So I, too, give a great big Italian hug….and with my children, I never ask for permission – I just dive in with both arms open and hold on tight. For tomorrow is never a given….

  2. The occupational therapist by day that I am can get into a whole sensory integration dissertation on WHY hugs are generally a welcome thing. (I could go into why some don’t like them, but I won’t do that either.

    Hugs feel good. We’re a very huggy family. My older guy is great about it, friends present or not. And he’ll go out of his way to hug his ma for no reason. Then there’s that other kid…

    Either way, I tell them both: I’m their mamma, I gave birth to them and I get to hug them all I want. I’ve earned that right.

    I like what Gina said too. One of my brothers died of leukemia three weeks shy of his 22nd birthday. We started saying “I love you” and hugging regularly with my mom after that. Sad that’s what it took to get us started. It’s not that the love wasn’t there. We just weren’t into a hugging habit prior.

    Fun post. Take care and go hug those kids. They’ll get over it and love you for it in the long run.

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