You Can’t Pick Your Parents

file0001581635745I’m a firm believer in you can’t pick your parents. I know some people are shouting at their computer screens in disagreement, but that’s okay. We’ll agree to disagree. I believe there is a Native American proverb that says we do pick our parents. But I also think there’s a Tibetan proverb that says we’re sent here to teach our parents something. I’m way more in favor of that idea.

So, what are the Noodges here to teach me? How to be a Noodge, perhaps? Probably not. And if you ask my mother, I’m sure I did just fine in the Noodge department when I was a kid. But my sister did a better job! Just saying, Sis.

In all seriousness, what am I to learn from the benefit of being in the company of my children?

Patience? I know I’m supposed to be patient, but I can’t figure out how to do it well.

Kindness? I’m supposed to be showing them how to be kind, but sometimes they floor me with a random act. Usually for someone outside of the house. If only they could practice a little kindness on each other. Okay, I’m asking for too much. I know.

Does that mean they should be teaching me moderation? Or no expectations? Well, that’s not working out. Did you read about our family vacation?

So, what am I to learn from them? Love. Unconditional love. Simple. And it was the easiest lesson to learn. There were no books needed, no tests to take. I just had to take one look at them and I was hooked. And every time I see them, I learn it again and again. That lesson never gets old. I suspect it never it will.

What have you learned from your children? No children of your own? Then what have you learned from someone else’s?


14 thoughts on “You Can’t Pick Your Parents

    1. I think it’s important to accept everyone for who they are. No one is perfect and people are only capable of giving what they can. Here’s a metaphor: A 4oz glass can only hold 4 ounces of milk. You aren’t going to get 8 ounces of milk in there no matter how hard you try.

  1. Interesting topic. Hubby always told my boys they picked us. We never thought to discuss why.

    As a daughter whose dad developed heart issues early on, I learned I would like to be more gracious dealing with my elderly mom. I still fall short with Mom, but I was 28 when my dad died. He spent the last 10 months of his life in and out of hospitals. I got to deal with most of it for various reasons.

    Re my kids, I never wanted to be a controlling parent, so I have spent their childhood working hard on maintaining balance between discipline and control. So far, they seem to be doing quite nicely at their end, though as far from perfect as their ma and pa.

    Nice post, Stacey 🙂

    1. Thank you, Joanna. I always tell my kids thanks for being mine. The ego part of me would like to think they picked me, but in my heart I don’t really believe that. Of course, that comes from my own, and a few others I know, experience.

      I’m sorry you lost your dad so early. When someone I love passes on I like to believe I have my own guardian angel. And I call on them often!

      1. Guess deep down I believe those who’ve gone before us are still part of us, and possibly as angels, as you suggest. I do truly believe that one’s life spirit is a force that changes forms, but doesn’t die. I kind of go with the physics’ law that the amount of energy in the universe is finite. It can’t be increased or decreased, but it can change forms.

        I don’t call on those angels often enough–maybe I should?

      2. Yep. No details, but I do tend to call on one angel relative to another family member, and only at highly specific times.

      3. Story about the lack of detail. Sometimes the Italian superstitions kick in. I’ll leave it at that 😉 .

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