Sleeping With The Enemy

I told you not to wear your hair like that.
I told you not to wear your hair like that.

Did you see that movie Sleeping With the Enemy starring Julia Roberts? I think it was made in the early ’90s. It has a few plot holes, okay, a lot of plot holes, but I identify with the antagonist. Her crazy husband. I know, weird, right? Maybe not. Let me give a quick summary: Julia’s husband is completely anal retentive. Julia must keep the hand towels hanging on the rack with the stripes matching, the house spotless and all her cans in the cabinets must be lined up neatly, with the labels pointing out or her crazy hubby with the bad mustache will get angry. I have to confess. I have a bad mustache. It’s the curse of being an Italian woman. No, no. Just kidding. I do the same thing with my cans and their labels too. I didn’t even think that was weird until my friend Robin laughed at me. At least she’s still my friend.

My sister Kiki also accused me of being the Sleeping With the Enemy character when she opened my cup cabinet. I like to keep the mugs from the same set together and they all face the same way. I know. Okay, I know. I just can’t help it.

Aahh...peace and serenity. Or craziness. Either works for me.
Aahh…peace and serenity. Or craziness. Either works for me.

Try and follow my logic. I have a decent size pantry. They must grow them bigger in the country. Anyway, I want to be able to find what I’m looking for when I need it so I keep similar food items near each other and I turn out all the labels of the cans so I can quickly identity what’s in them. And if someone puts away the crackers where the cereal goes I move it back. What’s wrong with that? Really?

The thing with the mugs? They go in the cabinet better if they’re lined up right. Do you really want to open your cabinet and your favorite mug falls out, lands at your feet, and breaks into a hundred pieces? Now you have a mess to clean up and it will probably be before you had your coffee. See? Look what I avoided. You know you want your cabinets to look like mine.

It really doesn’t stop there. My kitchen drawers are organized too. I have a drawer for cooking utensils I use often and another for the ones I don’t need as much. Just the other day I cleaned out the desk drawer in the kitchen the Noodges use. I happily grabbed plastic storage bags with the zip-lock top and put crayons in one, colored pencils in the other, and miscellaneous non-matching writing instruments in a third. Then I wiped the drawer clean with my one of my favorite cleaning products: Clorox Wipes. That put a smile on my face.

Now here’s something interesting. My desk, where I write my books, and write to you at, looks like a bomb went off and dropped paper, notebooks, pens, and magazines on it. I try to make piles, clear away space so I can see the wood top, put things in drawers, but before I know it the papers are back, the notebooks are bullying their way toward my chair, and the piles are growing higher. The Enemy does not sleep in my office. Let me tell you.

I can justify a messy desk. That’s the home of my creative mind. I think I’m afraid if I surrender my whole house to the muse living in my office then they’ll come for me in the padded truck. Then I’ll be sleeping with a whole different enemy.





4 thoughts on “Sleeping With The Enemy

  1. Love it. One of your funniest posts yet, Stacey. BTW, in my day-job line of work, we call the order that pleases your soul (one form of) self-regulation. I call it ‘visual peace.’

    I totally get that lining things up a certain way creates order and ease of finding things, as well as making it easier to put things away. I don’t have to line things up a certain way, but I’m big on nesting bowls, having a specific space for pots, etc. My kitchen was remodeled about 5 years ago. Almost everything is still in pretty much the same place I assigned it b/c it works.

    I could go on and on, but I won’t. You inspired me to write a post of my own. (Thanks! I needed that!)

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