Pooping in PetSmart

“Who me?”

I have a love-hate relationship with my dog. Most of the time he’s adorable and his goofy personality makes me laugh. I mean, when you watch an eighty pound German shepherd act like a goof ball how can you not laugh, right?

There are other times when I question why we have a dog at all. Case in Point: Last week Noodge 3 (as I lovingly refer to him.  a.k.a. Munson) was in much need of a bath. He’d had an ear infection and after several weeks of shoving antibiotic fluid into his ear the fur on the side of his face had clumped together. (We often tried to clean the fur with baby wipes, but Munson is a long haired shepherd making the process much harder. That and he wanted to eat the wipes right out of our hands.)

Off to PetSmart for a bath! He loves getting a bath, though he doesn’t like the dryer and has to air dry and the wonderful people who work at our local PetSmart love Munson. Come on, how can’t you love a goofy, eighty pound, fluffy dog? It’s impossible.

After the bath, the Coffee King thought it would be fun to walk Munson around the store, check out some of the toys. I guess CK was thinking Munson would bark at the ones he liked best and we’d buy it. Kind of like when we took the kids to the toy store before they could speak.

Munson is easily excited. A little fun fact about German shepherds. They have a sensitive stomach. It was too much excitement for Munson. (Or someone gave him a treat we didn’t approve.) Because right in the middle of the toy aisle with absolutely no warning Munson took a squat!

It might not have been the end of the world except I’ve never seen anything so liquid puddling all over the floor in a store and coming out of the back end of my freshly cleaned dog.

I ran for help.

I found a woman on a ladder stocking shelves. I said, “My dog just had an accident.”

She pointed over my head and said, “the cleaner is over there. Do you see it?”

Uh…NO! You’re standing three feet above my head. Pointing in a general area doesn’t equal good directions. Anyway, because I’m smarter than I look, I found it. And here comes CK with the dog. “I’m taking him outside.”

And leaving me with the eruption is aisle four? You betcha.

What choice did I have? Did I really want to leave Lake Erie for someone to step into? Yes. But I didn’t. I grabbed several tiny, one-ply paper towels (more like cocktail napkins), an equally small garbage bag (think Ziploc sandwich bag) and the cleaner and went to battle.

The paper towels were useless and required fifty trips back and forth to gather enough to do any good. As soon as I put one down it was soaked through and there was no way on this planet I was touching anything that looked or smelled like that paper towel had become. The trick was how to shove the gigantic wad of wet, smelly paper towels into the sandwich bag without touching anything and hold my wallet under my arm without dropping it in the sewer. (Wallet is too large to shove in a pocket and I couldn’t put it down for fear while I was drowning in the polluted lake (not implying Lake Erie is polluted by the way) someone would come along and swipe it up.

No one came to help me. No one asked if I was all right. No one brought me a mop which I desperately needed. On one of my trips back for more paper towels another employee (and no one from the grooming center) said to me, “Make sure you throw that outside.” In the kind of voice that suggested I coerced my dog into defecating in her store. In fact, I make a career of doing just that thing. Haven’t you heard of it? Pooper Plopper. I’m very successful.

I managed to clean it up and break a sweat. You really can burn calories in all amazing ways. I scrubbed my hands and threw out the eruption in the inside garbage can, hee hee. Went outside to find CK and Munson doing laps in the parking lot. Munson no worse for wear. Me, trembling, disgusted, and questioning my sanity when I said hands clapping, “Yes, let’s get a dog! What fun!”






17 thoughts on “Pooping in PetSmart

  1. Stacey, I think you should have a love hate relationship with Petsmart not Munson. Damn the torpedo, swab the deck mate. What poor service. Thank heaven I don’t have a dog because I would have left the mess. 😂😂

    1. I have to agree, Dave. I think PetSmart should’ve handled it better. But maybe they’re used to this thing happening and figure if they stop every time a dog uses the floor as a toilet they won’t have time for more important things like stocking shelves? You’re all about customer service anyway. If it were your store, I would’ve had the help.

  2. The old adage, of course, is: “Women — can’t live with ’em and can’t live without ’em.” I’d argue that applies much more aptly to dogs! They make you nuts… then three minutes later, you find yourself hugging and petting them with no memory of having been annoyed with them just moments earlier! It’s a superpower I wish I had!

    1. I believe the old adage is “Men, can’t live with them, can’t shoot them.” 😉 It’s funny how you mention on a turn of a dime you go from smoke coming out your nostrils to sticking your hands in their fur and giving them a good scratch. I just asked Munson yesterday what it’s like being the member of the family everyone else wants to constantly pet? I mean, no one walks into a room with him in it and ignores him. They go right up to him and bam! Petting begins. However, that isn’t a superpower I wish I had. Strangers are not allowed to touch me. I might hit them back.

  3. Oh no! Sorry that I laughed through your ordeal, but this cracked me up. You poor thing having to clean up the eruption, though! It’s a good thing dogs are the epitome of unconditional love 🙂

      1. Laughter is a great way to stay sane. In the grand scheme of things, dog poop is a minor inconvenience. If you can turn it into a laugh AND a post… well, that almost makes it worth it. Ha ha.

  4. yes I hate those Petsmart clean up stations. The tiny little paper towels are not for people who have a dog that weighs more than five pounds and the little itty bitty plastic bags, yikes! Glad you survived. By the way my Petsmart leave a mop with bucket of soapy water by the restrooms for those customers in the know.

    1. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. And thank you for the mop tip. I’ll keep that in mind for the future, but it might be a while before I try and take the dog back in there. 😉

  5. Loved reading this! I’m sorry but I couldn’t stop laughing. I really want another dog and I do remember all the fun adventures with our dogs, some not so much! Great post!

  6. Karen, I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. And laughing is exactly what I’d hoped everyone would do, so I’d say I accomplished my goal. Dogs can be fun. And a ton of work. But they’re always so happy to see you. It’s hard to stay mad at them. The stinkers.

  7. What an episode–blog-post-worthy for sure, lol. No disposable gloves available?

    I don’t have a dog, but my senior cat’s need for TLC went up about a month ago. I’d find clumps of chewed and “erupted” dry cat food in varied places of the house. (Bleh. No one else in the house seems to know how to clean them–or the litter box, for that matter.) Screwball was also climbing on to the kitchen counter constantly–something she’s never done. I finally got that Screwball wasn’t just getting thinner b/c she is aging; she was starving b/c her older digestive system might not be able to handle the store-bought food.

    So what’s a cat-mom to do? Start baking chicken every other day. And my lil girl tears it up. She’s gained weight and looking much improved. And little or no clumps of chumped-up food to clean either. Btw, her fur feels so good when I dig my fingers into it, lol.

    Yep. It’s what pet-parents do, lol.

  8. I’m so glad Screwball is feeling better! Cats, dogs, birds. Whatever our family pet is, we take care of them. My friend drove over an hour to a vet that specializes in hedgehogs. Her son’s was sick and the local vet didn’t know how to help. Unfortunately, the hedgehog didn’t make it. 😦

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s